I never expected that the moment I would let go would also be the moment I would find my true purpose. In December of 2012, I stood at a crossroads in my life. A toxic business relationship forced me to choose between an exhausting legal battle to save my organization or letting go to start anew. On a cold Chicago evening, while sitting in a soul food restaurant discussing social programs with two women, I heard a whisper—become. That quiet voice marked the beginning of a new chapter and elevated purpose.
That night, I went home and wrote a manifesto, drafted a logo, and completed the incorporation paperwork for BECOME, my now 12-year-old community transformation organization. But the seeds of this journey were planted long before that night. They were sown in my experiences as one of the few children of color in a predominantly White community, navigating blatant racism and systemic exclusion. My loving family and a close-knit community offset some of the pain, showing me the profound healing power of connected, supportive relationships. That duality became my compass, setting me on a path to foster the kinds of communities that counter harm and cultivate resilience.
But like so many women of color who lead with purpose, my work has often been propelled by pain. The intersecting oppressions faced by Black women demand they carry extraordinary weight. Research has shown that the “glass cliff” has been a long-time phenomenon showing that it’s too often in times of crisis that women and people of color are asked to be in leadership positions. Historically and today, Black women have not only borne the brunt of societal struggles but have also been its scaffolding—saving states from political crises, leading transformative movements, and holding up the moral mirror for collective healing. Historical healers, like Harriet Tubman, Sojourner Truth, and Fanny Lou Hamer, are just a few examples of the profound impact of Black women on this society. However, their legacy lives on through the work of many melanated women today. This tireless service, celebrated as “Black Girl Magic,” often comes at a steep cost to their well-being.
Many Black women are now stepping away from roles that demand martyrdom and the myth of the “superwoman.” The grind culture, as described by Tricia Hersey of The Nap Ministry, wreaks havoc on the body, flooding it with cortisol and compounding stress. This shift toward self-care and rest is both overdue and necessary to restore balance. It is ironic that this shift also comes at a time when Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion initiatives are being rolled back.
But as Black women step back or are forced back, society must ask: What happens when those who have historically been its anchors are no longer willing to sacrifice themselves for its survival?
The answer lies in addressing the conditions that perpetuate this pain. We live in a culture that devalues what is most restorative—authentic relationships, community care, and lived experiences of resilience—while prioritizing materialism, relentless productivity, and surface-level success. This imbalance harms us all. If we continue to ignore or, worse, subjugate Black women through microaggressions, systemic ignorance and harm, and devaluing human worth, we will continue down a path that harms the country as a whole. Economically, our situation is tenuous, at best, and when whole groups are prohibited from full engagement, the national economy suffers as well, with only a few benefiting. Socially, we see this dynamic continue to weaken our social fabric, creating chasms of distrust and disconnection. Through a lack of unity, conflict and holistic decline will continue. It is not just Black women that suffer from this subjugation – it’s everyone. Creating conditions that uplift and care for melanated women ends up helping all of us.
To shift the tide, we must center healing, honor cultural nuances, and recognize the inherent power in every person.
The book Becoming Change Makers: The Exquisite Path to Leadership and Liberation offers a roadmap for this shift. It shares the lived experiences of women of color and provides actionable strategies for organizations, communities, and individuals to create environments rooted in connection and transformation.
If we don’t act, the consequences will be dire—further imbalance, the continued toll of chronic stress on entire populations, and a society unmoored from a moral compass. But if we do, we might realize the vision described in Becoming Change Makers:
Imagine a world liberated from fear and scarcity, where communities overflow with love and connection. People are born into spaces where they are free to be their authentic selves, guided by wisdom and care at every stage of life. Anchored by the beauty of ancestry, history, and the present moment, individuals flourish—learning, growing, and embracing their power. This vision is upheld by every institution and relationship, ensuring all souls can manifest their brilliance and radiate love unconditionally.
If this resonates with you, here are a few steps to begin this journey of collective healing:
- Reflect on your biases. What assumptions or stereotypes do you hold about Black women? How might they shape your interactions?
- Choose kindness. A simple smile—at work, on the street, or in your neighborhood—can create a ripple of connection.
- Advocate for change. Encourage workplaces and communities to prioritize healing practices and inclusive environments.
- Listen deeply. Listening is a transformative act. Hear the stories, struggles, and triumphs of women of color and others whose experiences differ from your own.
The time for transformation is now. Together, we can build a world where care, connection, and liberation are the cornerstones of our shared humanity.
Learn More at https://becomecenter.org/
Dominica McBride, holds a PhD in Counseling Psychology and specializes in Consultation and Culturally Responsive Evaluation. She is a Community Psychologist, bestselling author, keynote speaker and founder of the BECOME Community
